"He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm,
and carry them close to his heart, and shall gently lead those that are with young." Isaiah 40:11

Monday, December 5, 2011

It's Been Four Months

Can it really be four months already?  It's so hard to believe.  I think I still feel a sense of shock that she really isn't here anymore.  I haven't had much time lately to write.  We have had a very full week here, with family visits! But I have been thinking of Rachel ALOT today.  Aching in the deep way that only a mother who has lost a child can ache. As I clean and organize places in our house that haven't been touched in a long time, I keep running into reminders of her sweet life.  Thank-you Father God for your precious gifts.  For your strength that carried us through the darkest nights. I have felt IMMENSE sadness today that I couldn't experience the joyful expectation of a healthy birth, but I give thanks for her life all the same.  For the sweet bond that I could know with her. And one day I will see you again Rachel!  oh, I can hardly wait... 


This is what I posted on FB awhile ago..."I miss Rachel so much today. It's the five (oops actually four) month anniversary of her death but all I can think about today is the day of her birth.  Bono said that "Freedom has a scent like the top of a newborn baby's head".  I think that's about right. What a lovely feeling it was to hold her and drink her in."

3 comments:

Brenda Funk said...

Amen.

Taylor said...

Definetly Amen. Kendra you have been such a blessing with your openness about your hurt and yet full trust in our Lord. May the Lord comfort your heart today and all the days while you hold memories of Rachel close to your heart. She truely will not be forgotten.

Leanne Overduin said...

to a dear mommy, Rachel's Mommy, I just finished reading from this most recent post on back to the post about the day Rachel went home to heaven. Honestly? I am a stranger to you and to the heart ache you have so honestly shared with me but I thank you for sharing it. I have tears in my eyes and a huge ache in my heart for your loss of your precious little girl but I thank you.
Tomorrow will hopefully be a different day at our house as once again I am reminded at the preciousness of each minute with my own dear children. Hopefully tomorrow the exhaustion of caring for little ones is uplifted and chased away by the thoughts of those mommies who only wish they could have more of those exhausting moments. May God richly bless you, your husband and children as you learn to navigate this new life without Rachel. May His peace cover you this season of celebrating the birth of baby Jesus. May His perfect strength carry you through difficult days and moments. In Christ, Leanne