....and I think the jet lag is finally wearing off. It is so good to be home again, if even for a little while. Next week Dave and I will be at a marriage retreat!!! I'm not sure what to expect because we have never done this before but I am starting to look forward to it. I think it is a good time for it too. While Berlin was amazing and we were really happy about spending time with Jenn and Paul in their home, it was also a pretty difficult time relationally for Dave and myself. I have his permission to say that. (his suggestion actually) We might even write a post one day, together, about our time there and how the last few years of stress, grieving the loss of Rachel etc... has affected us. (And I'm sure there was the normal stresses of being on vacation together too!) We are doing much better now and our three days in Prague on our own was really good for us. But a whole week is even better! We are flying my mom out to take care of the kids.
Both Dave and I are finding that the permanence of Rachel being gone is sinking in more and more. She has left us and she will not come back to us. We will go to her. And the reality of that is so hard sometimes. I wonder if it will always feel like our family is incomplete. Someday I might write more of how that is affecting us. I also want to write more about our Berlin trip in general and I have tried a few times, but the words just aren't coming and I am not sure I know why. So I will try again when we get back in a week!