"He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm,
and carry them close to his heart, and shall gently lead those that are with young." Isaiah 40:11

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Hard Day

After writing the last post yesterday, I had a very difficult afternoon with Rachel.  She still seems hungry but she has to take many breaks in one feed. This stopping and starting kind of eating is so unbelievably wearing.  I think I had her bottle in my hand for most of the day.  But I think what made the day so very hard was that I had hopes for the afternoon, a nap, some exercise? And she only slept for 15 minutes, just enough to get me up from an 'almost sleep'.  I didn't get anything done. And it just snowballed from there, into a frustration about the whole year.  There is too much about this life that drives me crazy sometimes.  Yesterday, I longed for normal busy toddler stuff to complain about.  By the time Dave and his dad and the kids made it home, I was about to go over the edge.  Dave took one look at me and sent me out of the house. I went to the store for some things and I took my time doing it. Oh, blessed freedom!! 

Today I am waaaaay better after a full nights sleep and a half hour outside pulling weeks in the sunshine!! But I still feel like it might not take much to bowl me over again. We have another meeting next Friday afternoon with our case worker to discuss more hours for respite.  We really feel that we need more - not just for nights but also for one evening a week so that we can do something fun with the other two kids. So often it's Dave or myself taking the kids out, and so rarely do we get to do something together.  We probably wouldn't go far from the house - but anything would be wonderful. Please pray that our case worker will be favorable to giving us more hours. (And for us, for strength and perserverance!!) Thank-you!


Jaclyn said...

Feeling for you...
Thinking of you...

Heavenly Father, you know I don't understand all that Dave, Kendra, Ethan and Abigail are going through, but Lord I lift them before you. God you know the pain, you know the struggle, you know the hurt, you know everything. God I pray you be near to them today! Please hold Kendra near your heart. Help her to feel your big strong loving arms around her, and your hand in hers as she takes each step.
Please work so that they would have more respite times.
Father I pray you give each one of them strength. And please help the people they are in contact with to be sensitive towards their needs and pain. Thank you Father for the blessings you've sent them!
God I lift them before you. Thank you Father for your unfailing love!
In Jesus' Holy Name I pray, Amen

Kathy and Carl said...

I'm sorry to hear that the afternoon wasn't what you hoped or needed. We have been constantly praying for you.

fiona said...

i can only imagine how difficult it must be to care so intensely for rachel day after day, hour after hour. may God give you strength! and we will pray that you get those extra respite hours. you truly need them. your older kids need them too. hang in there kendra and dave. you are doing an amazing job of loving. when i think of all the scripture i 'know' that speaks of love and kindness, i see you walking the way Jesus showed us how to walk.