How is Rachel? Well, she still has very little energy. She is still eating only small amounts at a time and generally not happy. Weak bottle sucking. Her fontanel is quite sunken and she isn't peeing. She isn't moving much. It is very hard for us to see her like this and we worry for her. Is she getting worse?? Maybe. There are signs of this being the end but we have been here before and so it is still hard to say. I had a conversation with a doctor that I want to write about but I will save it for another day. I'm having some trouble sleeping again. I keep waking up at 3am, and other times I jolt awake feeling panicked that something is happening with Rachel. The good news though is that Dave is on holidays this week and we hope to do some relaxing and re-connecting! Also, because of our extended stay at the FH, we can have in-house respite ALL WEEK!! This is a big deal, especially with Rachel not doing well right now. Thank-you so much for your prayers for us. Good-night!
This is going to be the last page of my first blog book of Rachel's story!! I want to end with a verse that has carried me through the ups and downs of the last year and a half.
I WOULD HAVE DESPAIRED........UNLESS...... I had BELIEVED that I would see the GOODNESS of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and let your heart take COURAGE; Yes, WAIT for the LORD! (Ps. 27:13.14)
A year and a half ago, we shared with our church the grim news that the baby I was carrying, had alot of problems, and that she would likely not live long after birth. And now here we are - celebrating her birthday! What a year it has been! In many ways, it has been a very difficult year. Full of tears and exhaustion. But there have been signs of God's goodness to us too. And there has been alot of beauty. A year and a half ago, I could not have seen how true God's words would be, in our own situation. We were in the dark but we chose to believe God anyway. We chose to believe that God would bring beauty and good out of our situation if we would trust Him. We chose to wait to see what He would do. And God was true to His Word. And so we will continue to wait and to believe that we will see His goodness yet again, even in the hard days that are yet to come.
We will WAIT for the LORD.....we will wait and we will put our TRUST in HIM. Because only HE can make anything new! Only GOD can bring BEAUTY from ashes.