"He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm,
and carry them close to his heart, and shall gently lead those that are with young." Isaiah 40:11

Friday, April 29, 2011

Rough Night

We gave Rachel some fentanyl at 3am, almost an hour ago.  She wasn't having a spell but definetly something was going on.  Her breathing and cry was very irregular.  I can't get back to sleep. I'm wound up so tightly with worry.  Even before Rachel came upstairs, I was having a strange dream about my heart stopping - and someone putting me on a machine while I waited for a transplant or somthing.  And now it still feels like my heart hurts.  After I gave up sleeping, I remembered this comment that someone left on my lamenting post and went looking for it.  I felt like I needed a Psalm to read. Thank-you. 

and now when I read it, the fear is changing to pain.  God, this is so hard! I need You! 

How long O Lord will You forget me?
How long O Lord will You look the other way?
How long O Lord must I wrestle with my thoughts,
And every day have such sorrow in my heart?

Look on me and answer, O God my Father
Bring light to my darkness before they see me fall.
But I trust in Your unfailing love
Yes, my heart will rejoice.
Still I sing of Your unfailing love
You have been good, You will be good to me.

- song by Brian Doerksen, taken from Ps 13


Brenda Funk said...

So glad I checked the blog before going to work today! I will be praying...and carrying my cell, so call if you need to. Love to all of you!

Sharon said...

Thinking of you... Love, Sharon

Carol Taves said...

I'll be praying for you today; God grant you peace in the midst of stress. Love you.

Anonymous said...

I too have listened to that song many times and wondered.....I just had grandgirls in my care for a few days again know what weariness feels like....praying for you today. Roselle