"He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm,
and carry them close to his heart, and shall gently lead those that are with young." Isaiah 40:11

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Rough morning

This morning was rough.  Rachel cried for an hour and a half and I just couldn't settle her.  If Rachel were a healthy baby girl, I would have put her down to cry it out, but I can't do that with her.  Things can change very suddenly and so I want her in view.  Plus her crying for this length of time is very unusual for her.  Meanwhile, Abigail was mad at me because I hadn't given her breakfast yet and Ethan wanted help to listen to his new cd's...and I was short with them.  I felt so frustrated, so helpless, so very sad about my friends' losses, and stressed out about the present situation...

Dave came home to help and Rachel did finally settle but I am so worn out...
We feel like we have had a newborn baby for almost 8 months...

Please pray for us.  Pray for me that I can keep my cool.  Pray for my kids - that they won't take our stress on as their own...this is not a burden they need to carry. Right now I can hear them laughing and playing - that makes my heart feel better..but I know there are bound to be more times when I'm going to feel the pressure building up again.  

thank-you so much for praying for us.

4 comments:

Sharon said...

I'm praying for you. Peace be with you.

Hope's Blog said...

I am praying for you and with you. I know it is hard and I can't imagine what you are going through. Remember though that being short and extending your stress is something even parents with 'normal' kids do. It is hard not to, but it is wonderful that you are realizing that you are doing it. Many parents don't realize it is happening and I think it is amazing you know it and are doing everything possible to not make the other ones feel the stress (anymore than they will).

Many heart hugs and lots of prayers.

fawne said...

you are doing a great job kendra. i remember that feeling of not being able to let my child cry. sometimes i thought it wasn't fair cause it felt like i had nothing more to give yet i had no choice. i HAD to give. you are doing well!!
i know it's hard on the other kids but try not to worry about it too much. God made them with an amazing ability to bounce back from difficult circumstances. God has his hands under them too. He will carry them just as He does you. this journey you are on is incredibly difficult. you probably have no idea how difficult but someday you will look back and know more fully. give yourself grace upon grace. and ask for help as much as possible. i pray for you often when i'm up during the nights.

Jen Penner said...

Oh, Kendra. My heart aches for you.
Many prayers,
Jennifer (& Roland) Penner