"He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm,
and carry them close to his heart, and shall gently lead those that are with young." Isaiah 40:11

Monday, June 21, 2010

Struck

Rachel is still 4 pounds.  She is one month old and she is lighter than she was the day she was born. She wears the same clothes she did one month ago...and they are no smaller on her today.  Her legs and arms are so thin - she has no extra fat.  She is not filling out in the ways that other babies do.  These things hit home for me in a new way tonight and it makes me sad to look at my baby girl and know that her body is not growing.  It is like she is barely holding on to this world.  But she is warm in my arms now.  She breathes and makes a contented sigh because she has eaten and she knows love. I know I should lay her down but I want to sit here for awhile...
(typed with one hand at 2am)

18 comments:

LeRoy said...

She is absolutely beautiful. I am praying for you guys through this hard time that God will give you peace and joy for every day you have with your precious daughter.

Faith

Angela said...

What a beautiful picture!

Sandi said...

I love this photo - those bright eyes and long eyelashes! Sending kisses and cuddles to sweet little Rachel.

Anonymous said...

She is so precious.I just noticed too how long her eyelashes are.
I can tell how loving you both are with your children.Rachel will feel that warmth of your love right till the end..Jesus be with you & give you strength with each new day.He is holding you too.
In prayer
Janet M

Anonymous said...

Aw....she has her eyes open....so very sweet.....

Debbi said...

What a beautiful picture of her.
She is the cutest little doll baby

I have been reading your blog for some time now.

And I just want you to know you're in my thoughts and prayers

patti said...

I, too, was struck by the beauty of this picture, and again, by the beauty of Rachel! Thank you for writing this post. I'm sure at times, posts like this are difficult to write as it is personal and strong emotions are connected. Hopefully, it is a little therapeutic as well, and helps you to process what's going on. Posts like these help me to understand a little better how to pray for you. So, I want you to know that I'm praying for you and love you guys lots!

Kathy and Carl said...

Yes, just sit and hold her and listen to her contented sighs.

Faith and Mark said...

What a great picture of Rachel. We keep praying for you guys.

Anonymous said...

Love the picutes, she is incredible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love you and are thinking of your family often

Mel

paige said...

wow - i love the new picture. Just sweet.
i just read your fathers day post today & i wanted to tell you that i love... l.o.v.e... the way you bathe your words in grace. i know that the Father must be giving you wisdom in these days. Even though i don't know you or your family, it is achingly beautiful to watch another follower of Jesus choose to lay it all down & allow themselves to be used.
Your little girl is sure a wonder. i'm so grateful you chose to share her in this way.

Lorissa said...

That is such a beautiful picture! Thanks for sharing your journey on this blog... you and your family continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Love, Lorissa

Brenda Funk said...

A few people have said to me you write so well -- they think that someday you will have to write a book. Guess we'll see. Beautiful thoughts and pictures. Thanks again. Love MOM

fiona said...

kendra, i want to bless you in holding that little girl as much as your mother's heart desires!! love her up. forget the housecleaning and keep your food intake as simple as you can. just focus on love!!

Cheryl said...

Just hold her as much as possible. Housework can wait. Just hold her & focus on every inch of her precious body. She is beautiful!! Some day...oh some day;):) Tears..and then JOY! Praying for you!!

Jennifer said...

She is beautiful. I pray that every moment with her is etched on your brain, and that those memories sustain you, along with God's love and Grace, through the coming months.

Anonymous said...

Rachel is breathtaking...what a beautiful little girl.

Carol Taves said...

I ache for your pain. Praying for you. Love you.