"He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm,
and carry them close to his heart, and shall gently lead those that are with young." Isaiah 40:11

Friday, June 25, 2010

Five Weeks Old Today

Rachel is five weeks old.  That's alot of preemie diapers! Yesterday we had another apointment with her Doctors.  Rachel's oxygen levels were actually a bit higher than the last few weeks - they were in the 60's this time.  The little imp even gained 3 ounces!  Her oxygen levels are probably a bit higher because her milk intake has increased a bit.  (dehydration tends to decrease our oxygen carrying capacity.)  Because she is doing so well, we're going to stretch out our weekly visits to every two weeks.  At the next apointment, we are also planning to do another echocardiagram.  There likely won't be anything different - it is very hard to tell this way whether those collateral arteries are really ducts or not - but it may be worth checking anyway. 

Something we wonder about is our plans for summer! We had always thought that at least by August we would be back to four again.  Dave arranged to take holidays in August and I even wondered if I would go crazy waiting through summer before we could go somewhere.  Now it turns out that Rachel may be around much longer than we expected! We have very mixed feelings.  This may sound strange but one moment I am desperately wishing that what is inevitable would just happen already - this waiting is so hard - and then at other moments, I am desperate to hold on to her.  We had such conflicting feelings this morning when we heard her oxygen levels were up. 

We had originally planned to go to "Faith's Lodge", a place in Wisconsin for families who have lost children.  But it turns out that they are booked until November.  So, we are now toying with the idea of going to Vancouver! We have lived in Calgary for almost five years and have never gone west.  About time, hey? We talked to Rachel's doctors about some of our hesitation in doing trips with her. They tell us that we shouldn't rule out taking her with us.  We could take along letters from them so that if we end up at a Hospital, we wouldn't have to explain everything ourselves.  We still think we would like to save that big trip for after Rachel leaves us, so that the four of us can process and have some healing time together.  But it was encouraging in a sense to know that we can still live life fairly 'normally' with her.   

Rachel is still having trouble with mucus.  Last night I sat with her for almost two hours, trying to help her with my suction bulbs.  So far she still manages to work it out on her own, in the process puking her last meal out of her nose and mouth too.  I hate it and that distressed look in her eyes as she gags on it...

This last week has been really tough sleep-wise.  On top of caring for Rachel, Ethan and Abigail had croupy coughs so that means a few nightly trips to a steamy bathroom etc...  And they are little grumps by day.  Please pray that we would have supernatural patience because my supply is very low. Thank-you!!


Carol Taves said...

I have been praying that God would give you endurance for the long haul; your mixed feelings are completely understandable - one can only go for so long at such an intense pace. You might want to consider using Flames Hospice for some respite care for a couple of days here and there, just so you can get a good rest every now and then. And don't be too hard on yourselves - you probably would have had some times of low patience with your kids even if Rachel had been born in completely good health. I don't believe there's a parent anywhere on earth that doesn't let their buttons get pushed now and then! We'll keep praying for you guys, and I'm so glad Brenda's coming out next week!

fiona said...

kendra, i will certainly pray for supernatural patience and strength for you! croupy coughs are so difficult even when your resources and coping abilities seems high . . . and i will particularly pray for rachel's mucus. my mother's heart feels that pain of watching her struggle with thick gunk. have you had any luck with saline solution in her nose? my babies have gotten some relief with that, but they hated being squirted.

i read through oswald chambers this morning and thought of you and dave . . .

how are ethan and abigail doing with sharing you with their sick little sister? we will pray for them as well . . . that they will have the grace beyond their years to be patient with you.

thank-you again for taking the time to write to all of us. we love you all sooooo much!

Anonymous said...

When I read comments here it makes me glad to see what good and supportive friends you have....I have no wise words only I think about you and pray for you. Roselle

Kathy and Carl said...

We so feel for you as you have conflicting feelings about how things are going. We will continue to pray. And may you find the right time for the family trip and that you will have peace and patience through it all.

Anonymous said...

We can never pray too much.Sometimes we don't even know what to pray anymore.But isn't it wonderful that God knows what He's doing..It is so great that you have so many that are sending encouragements & blessings your way..
We love you out here in Winnipeg.There is not a day that goes by without your family on our hearts.
Much love & prayers
Janet M