I was looking back at my journal today and I found this entry on September 21st - exactly 8 months before Rachel was born! I'm remembering that day and how I felt so helpless to the tide of events - how I knew that anything could happen. Somehow I had an inkling even then of something coming, something that God had been preparing me for. I am remembering today of how God was faithful. He was merciful, not quite in the way I asked or hoped. But He still was. He got me/us through that long time of waiting.
Here's what I wrote on September 21, 2009:
"We're pregnant. Just did a test this morning. I think I'm still shaking...with trepidation, fear of all the myriad things that could go wrong and all the things I've known already. Nasea, exhaustion, getting big and sluggish again, exhaustion because I have two children who wear me out somedays when I'm not pregnant. God help me! Help me to face each day with courage, stamina, patience. Protect and grow this little life. Because already I feel a fierce kind of desire to protect this little one. Lord have mercy on us. "
It is good to remember His faithfulness. And He says. "Can a woman forget her nursing child, or show no compassion for the child of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you." (Isaiah 49:15)Just as I love my children with a fierce protective love, God loves us and infinetely more!
2 comments:
God will carry you through! I appreciated what you wrote, and how you were able to look back in your journal. I often find it easier to look back then to look forward, because looking back gives your reassurance that God is there. Since he has carried you this far, he will continue to hold your hand and walk you through this. Our God is an AWESOME God!! He will never leave us, and will always be with us, even when we feel alone. I know this can be hard at times, and God may seem very far away, and you may not even have the strength to pray, but I want to affirm you that that's ok. God still knows, loves and cares for you and will still walk with you no matter what. He will never leave you, not now as you care for and spend time with Rachel and not later as you grieve her loss and continue to be a wife and mother. Our God is FAITHFUL!!
I love you all!
OH Yes! Great is His Faithfulness.Jesus is so amazing.He has not stopped walking by your side.The days you felt you can't get up.HE has picked you up & carried you.He will be there with you always.Always in prayer.
Janet M :)
Post a Comment