"He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm,
and carry them close to his heart, and shall gently lead those that are with young." Isaiah 40:11

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Let us be good to one another...

Now it's all over.....and we feel rather lost.  Not sure what we should do next.  We miss Rachel so much.  Thank-you so much for your support this last week.  There is alot of work and details involved in preparing for two memorial services and it all came together, much of it before we even asked for it - and both services were beautiful and full of meaning and reminders of our Hope.  There were some very difficult events of this last week - carrying our daughter's body to the hearse, laying her casket in the ground...and we are thankful for the strength of God.  How else could we have done it? And we are thankful for the comfort of friends.   

I don't think I will be writing much in the next while.  We will need some space and time as a family of four to rest and process and begin thinking about where we need to go next. I am hoping to learn to sleep again. Over the counter sleep-ease is helping.  Dave has a sabbatical (break from his work) coming up.  It is hard to imagine life without Rachel and we don't feel the kind of anticipation and interest in this as we once did.  As to the blog, I  expect that I will be writing here again some day.  On the trip out here to Manitoba (with Rachel's casket in the back), I journaled 19 pages so that I would not forget what this last week has been like.  One day I will write on the blog about Rachel's final hours too.  You are welcome to ask me about it.  I just want to wait until a quieter time before I share about it here. I will try and add some pictures of the last week as well, once we are somewhere with faster internet.

My new favorite book - one we listened to on the way - is The Magician's Nephew by C.S Lewis.  I have read it before but it was so much more meaningful to me now.  Here's part of it....

"But please, please - won't you - can't you give me something that will cure Mother?" Up till then he had been looking at the Lion's great front feet and the huge claws on them; now, in his despair, he looked up at its face. What he saw surprised him as much as anything in his whole life. For the tawny face was bent down near his own and (wonder of wonders) great shining tears stood in the Lion's eyes. They were such big, bright tears compared with Digory's own that for a moment he felt as if the Lion must really be sorrier about his Mother than he was himself.



"My son, my son," said Alan. "I know. Grief is great. Only you and I in this land know that yet. Let us be good to one another. ..."

14 comments:

Alicia said...

I am sorry we could not make it to the memorial. I can't imagine what you must be going through and it brings tears to my eyes to think that your little girl is now gone. You have been in my prayers and will continue to be. I admire your strength and God is good. I can see him shine through you even in this time.

Janet said...

Dear Dave ,Kendra,Ethan,& Abigail,
May you all feel the comfort of Jesus right now.May there be a warmth of His love sheild around you.As I followed your blog,I can see you are a very close family.Thanks be to our God...So many people were ministered to through this journey you were all on.
Continuing to keep you in prayer
Much love
Janet M

Brenda Funk said...

Awesome quote. I should re-read the Narnia series. Think I haven't read it since I read it to Tim many years ago.
Do be kind to one another -- and I suspect you will have to get to know each other again! We will be holding you all before Him constantly...

Anonymous said...

I am praying for your family.
Joy
(Len and Berneda's daughter)

Amber said...

Still thinking about you guys (we were staying just north of Winnipeg for the past 2 weeks, and came home probably just as you were arriving), and praying for you all.

If I can be of any help, please don't hesitate to ask, even though we don't know each other well...or, barely at all. Many hugs and prayers for peace.


Amber
(Andrew's mom, from preschool and soon, kindergarten)

Qualicum Beach said...

I've been praying all week for you - I can't begin to imagine your pain burying your daughter. What courage you have carrying her casket and placing her in the ground. What love you have for her to do this final act.

Please know that your journal has encouraged many others - people who never met you have seen Christ in you through your writing. God bless you and hold you and your family at this time. I pray He gives you strength to continue writing because I honestly believe He used Rachel to birth a ministry through you. You understand the pain and you held onto your faith thru all of this. You've helped a lot of others already but that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Will continue my prayers for you and your lovely family.

Kathy and Carl said...

It was meaningful for us to be at the memorial to celebrate Rachel's life. We pray that these next days and weeks you can find rest and comfort in the arms of your heavenly Father.

Carol Taves said...

We have ached as we stood by helplessly and watched your painful and precious journey with Rachel. And now we continue to feel helpless and hurt for you as we watch you mourn Rachel and figure out how to go on from here. I so wish I could do something to take the hurt away and make it all better, and yet, the pain is so precious too - a measure of how deep your love for Rachel was and is. And so, feeling helpless to help, we continue to pray for you all and know that our faithful God will continue to carry your family through this one day at a time. Love you guys.

Kara said...

You are always in our thoughts. I can't imagine the quiet and wouldn't know how to go on either. But God will carry you through. You are in his hands, as is Rachel. Crying for you too.

Anonymous said...

I have checked out your blog more than once throughout the last 6 months since finding out my son has heterotaxy. Your story has inspired and continues inspire myself and so many other people. Your faith and strengh is admirable and I cannot imagine the pain you must feel during these difficult times. Your love and compassion towards your precious angel lifts me up and encourages me that even through the adversity we deal with in our own lives that we must still put one foot in front of the other. Thank you so much for teaching me this and for never giving up hope. I read that all things are possible when you believe and because of your incredibly difficult and amazing journey I am reminded of this even more. Know that another heart mom out there shares you pain and grief. You and your amazing family are in our thoughts and prayers.

annamarie saarinen said...

You remain in our thoughts and prayers. May grace continue to see you through. Much love, Annamarie and the Saarinen family

Bev said...

May our loving Lord continue to carry you in these next days and weeks ahead as you adjust to life without your precious Rachel. I can not imagine how one begins the next part of life's journey after a loss such as this, but be gracious, kind, forgiving and loving towards each other daily.

Anonymous said...

i am not sure if you remember me but i would like to let you know that i am praying for you. May God be your strength through the coming days and months ahead

Anonymous said...

i left you a comment but i forgot to identify myself. i will keep praying for you
Lorrie R