These pictures were taken after her bath a few days ago. Rachel says, "This bathrobe from my auntie Evonne is sooooo soft." Oh, how I wish you could see how playful and mischevious this little girl can be. I see so much of my older kids in her. Have I written here about her little joke with Daddy? Daddy puts his nose to the side of her mouth and she moves her head so she can put his nose in her mouth....then both of them smile and laugh - and no-one gets quite the same reaction as Daddy does! Rachel also LOVES to be swung (as if in a swing) in our arms. She will cry if you stop. And she loves getting her feet and legs massaged. She will wiggle her body a little up and down when she is really happy - and she will be very busy moving her mouth as if to 'talk'. And these days she is so quick to smile - as if you and her have this little secret joke. I am so in love.
But boy, are the feedings constant....and so very demanding. I am so very tired of those little bottles already and how they keep leaking milk all over the place...My mom has said several times that feeding her really is a full time job. Even though we know how things are, a very common line in our house is.."what? I just fed her 15 minutes ago." It is amazing how much I have been able to get done without this constant interruption.
Having my mom here has been so marvelous. I am seriously dreading Monday morning when she leaves to go back to Manitoba. It has been different than other times in that I am now more hesitant to leave Rachel with her so I have only gone out on my own one time so far. (the morphine was easier to administer than her new drug and I just feel nervous being away from her) But I have been able to do so many things that I haven't done in the past year and a half. Let's see....I made meatballs for the freezer, canned soup, made banana bread and muffins, and rhubarb juice, made meat pies, organized some of the kids closet and put aside some baby stuff to give away. It felt SO GOOD to do some of these things again. And a bit sad to give away things that we will likely never use again. I put up some pictures on the wall of our three kids and last night, suddenly it felt like something was caught in my throat as I looked at our three beautiful children and thought about what it might be like to look at those pictures one day after Rachel is gone. But most of the time, these thoughts do not cross my mind. I mostly feel a huge amount of gratitude for the gift of knowing all three of these little people.