"He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm,
and carry them close to his heart, and shall gently lead those that are with young." Isaiah 40:11

Friday, February 25, 2011

Chicken Pox

Yesterday, as I was dressing Ethan for preschool, I noticed that he was covered with little red dots. Chicken Pox? Oh yeah, I remember....that was the one immunization that we declined.  At that point, Ethan is just itching to go to school (ha! no pun intended) - he knows they are going to learn more about outer space - and he says something about making space helmets.  And I have to tell him that he needs to stay home.  Poor guy, he is so despondent.  He tells me "Don't worry mommy. it will be fine.  I can go." He wasn't itchy yet so he doesn't understand why little red dots on his chest needs to keep him home and away from other kids. 

Almost immediately, my thoughts go to Rachel.  When we made this decision not to immunize, we didn't have a little girl with so many problems.  Would we have made a different decision? I'm not sure.  Does it matter now?  No. The question now is - will Rachel get this?  And if yes, how will it affect her?  I can't bear thinking of how irritating this might be to her and she really doesn't need more strain on her heart if there are complications.  God, have mercy on her!!

We spoke with a nurse at the Flames House and called Health Links - I think this was the first time that Health Links has ever been helpful - and then I took Ethan to the Children's Hospital.  As soon as I showed the admitting nurse Ethan's chest, we were isolated.  Any other child they would have sent home but because of our situation, we stayed to get a doctor's confirmation as well as to discuss a possible way to help boost Rachel's immune system temporarily.  We spent the whole afternoon in waiting in our little room - I realized quickly that I had not brought along enough toys or snacks - but Ethan did really well.  I spoke with the Palliative Care Doctor on call.  The emerg. doctor also consulted with Cardiology and the Infectious Disease Department. In the end, it was decided that the possible risks associated with giving her this blood product (which I completely forget the name for) probably would not outweigh the benefits.  If Rachel does show symptoms of chicken pox, we should bring her in then.

We soon realized other problems - it really felt like someone had just tipped over the domino that was going to send the others crashing.  Our main respite worker has never had chicken pox, and so we are now without respite. (except for two nights on the weekend)  And no respite means no sleep. I feel bad telling her that she shouldn't come but I really don't want her to be affected by this - they have enough to deal with right now. 

We had been planning on going to the Flames House for a week, starting on Monday.  We have been going over our allotted respite hours and we could really have used the break.  But that is cancelled now. And what really makes us sad is that this adds more uncertainty and questions about our trip to Manitoba.  I hate that.  It's not just about the disappointment of changed plans - it's that we have lived with so much uncertainty for a year and a half. (And the lack of sleep etc..there are so many ways this affects both Dave and me) I'm not sure I even have the words right now to explain how this feels. 

ok the kids are up and Ethan is ITCHY....lots more red dots. Time for breakfast. 
Please pray for strength for us! We could really use some today. Thank-you.


Noella said...

We also declined that immunization and as a parent you make the decisions you think best at the time. We will continue praying for you and that Rachel will be safe from this.

Sandi said...

Oh, Kendra...tough stuff. I will pray.

Carol said...

Lots of baking soda baths; can you give him Benadryl or anything for the itching? Praying for all of you, and especially Rachel, that you would have the resources you need to make it through this too.
Love you,

On God's path said...

Hi Kendra,

I want you to know that I have been praying for your daily along with my devotional times. I will add that to your family needs and will pray now for you all. Much love.

I am planning on coming out May 19 - 23. I'll keep you posted, but the Sunday I plan to go to the Vietnamese church, perhaps I can see you guys after lunch. Talk with you closer to the date.


fawne said...

kendra....i am praying for you. i so wish i was able to come do respite for you. arrggg! it's so hard to hear this and feel so helpless.
it is so difficult to have these disappointments. i always struggled so much with that. it would just seem like things were going well and then suddenly there would be another big issue and i'd think....can't we just have one week of ease. it felt so unfair of God sometimes. but that was before i really understood his heart for me. i am praying that you will be able to sink into God's arms and know his care for you even if you can't see it or feel it.
lots of love.....