"He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm,
and carry them close to his heart, and shall gently lead those that are with young." Isaiah 40:11

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Day Five

Hello dear friends! Thank-you so much for praying for us - we are doing well! Two days ago we were giving Rachel glucose water with a syringe - drops at a time to keep her hydrated. We wondered if her swallowing reflex wasn't working. But in the last few days we have seen a wonderful thing - she is now using a special bottle to drink only breast milk. Her intake has really increased and even though it is still much less than a healthy baby would drink, we absolutely love to see her chug this down. It is a strange feeling - this enjoyment of seeing her improve - and also trying to making sense of the knowledge that harder days are ahead. It is hard to believe sometimes that there is so much wrong with her body...We are so amazed by her.

Haberman Nipple
Because things were going well, we took Rachel home for a short visit today!! (and to pick up some things) We gave her a tour of our house. Ethan and Abigail showed her their bedroom. They are getting to know and love their baby sister. (and they are so proud of her) While at the Hospital one of my favorite memories will be of Ethan and Abigail helping to push Rachel to the nursery for her first bath. Ethan told everyone on the way that he had a new baby sister. oh my heart...it swells and breaks at once. These are such bittersweet days. The Flames Rotary Hospice is an incredible place and the kids love it here! So much thought has gone into it - and I really do want to tell you more about it someday! Lots of beautiful spaces, a Library, sun room, play room, Kids movies on a Big screen TV, Chefs that prepare marvelous food for us...This afternoon the kids did finger painting with a play therapist. We are so grateful for a place where good memories will be created for them (and us) even as we suffer loss. This place is only two months old - if Rachel had been born earlier we would not have been here.

First Visit Home with Rachel

Our family has gradually left to go home. We have one more day with our moms and Dave's sisters. Our moms are ready to return when things become more difficult here. I feel torn (as they do too) - we will miss their support but it will be good for us to be just the 5 of us too. Five of us....it has just begun to hit me that we are now the parents of three children. And we always will be even though one of us will go ahead to be with Jesus. These will be Rachel's better days and we are focusing on enjoying her now. We are taking lots of pictures and videos..I can't seem to be able to copy them into this post for some reason. But I will try again soon to add a few here.


Martha said...

Everyday is a treasured blessing! God be with you all....

Sharon said...

I cried tears of joy when I read this post this morning! <3

QueenB said...

How wonderful that you were able to bring her home and show her around! What a wonderful blessing to know in the days to come that her sweet little presence actually lived and breathed in your home, among you and all that is yours. Praying for your strength and courage...He is with you always.

Mark and Neena said...

Thank You Father for providing such a great place for our dear friends! Thank You for these precious days they have together! Thank You for the Great Reunion we will all share in together, when every tear will be wiped away, and all sorrow forgotten, and all will be praising You for Your love and goodness.

With love and prayers...

Neena and Mark and David Huebert

Alysia said...

I was listening to music this afternoon and came across a song that caused me to think about you.

"Hope is getting through this night and life is not dying in this fight. I'm begging you to deliver me, confused why you won't take this pain from me.

My steps never felt so hard, the end never looked so far. But, if you won't take me out then please take me through this.

Stay with me so I won't leave and make me see that this is not forever. 'Cause all I need is your love pulling me.

What is the reason for this night? Is hope found in fullness with no light? Does strength grow in our greatest fears? God I pray something good will come from this pain.

With you here I know I don't go alone. I am yours and so through the fire I'll go."

Stay with Me by Barlow Girl

Thanks for your openness and honesty as you are going through this difficult and precious time. Our thoughts and prayers go out to you.

Colin and Alysia Loewen