Yesterday I went to another ultrasound apointment. Saw Rachel again. I saw her little fist and arm and her curled up legs. I feel her movements alot these days! Maybe it's because she's little and has more room to move around. She's roughly 3 lbs right now. I am 34 weeks. The Doctor I spoke to guesses that she will be 4-5 lbs full term. She says this might be related with her condition. So....preemie clothes....It's so hard to go into stores looking for clothes that she might not even need...or to look for an outfit that I might bury my daughter in...I thought it would be easier as we neared the end. But in some ways, the reality of our situation is hitting harder. I am so glad for good friends and family to face this with.
Yesterday night I went through my baby clothes, looking for newborn stuff. This was tough. Looking at all the cute outfits that Rachel will likely never wear. Abigail was so excited that we were looking for stuff for baby Rachel. I so wish things were different than they are. But this is where we are...And I keep going, keep thinking ahead of what else needs to be done...One day at a time.