I was about to floss my kids teeth tonight, when I saw my neighbor from across the street, park her car and start to go inside. I ran out of the house and called to her. I asked her if she had seen a package for me (long story) on her door for me.
She said "no". She was friendly. I had never met her. She told me she moved in about a year ago. Told me that she had to do a ton of renovations to make it liveable. She waved at the ground and said, "this sh*t cost me $1000" Can you believe it?" I wasn't sure what she meant but I felt silly asking and I didn't want to keep her. Plus my kids looked like they were about to cross the busy street to get to us...
And then as I stepped into our house, I finally realized what she had meant. She was talking about the sidewalk! And I know exactly what day that happened. August 5th, the day my daughter died. I'm sure she'd probably be a bit freaked out to know that I remember the day. And even more, to know that I watched them working that afternoon, as I paced the house with my daughter's still warm body, wondering how life could go on outside of our house as if nothing astronomical had just happened....
Strange, how a brief conversation brings it all back.....
oh, I miss her...
that is interesting. isn't it funny how grief connects things like that and makes the ordinary totally extraordinary?!
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm sure she has no idea, and would hardly be able to believe it, if you were to tell her how you remembered that day....and somehow $1000 sidewalk seems insignificant.
ReplyDeleteYour story has made me realize how much I need to let The lord into my life, as well as my children's lives. Can you reccomend a book to start meon the path? I have read every entry about your sweet Rachel and after struggling for many years with anxiety and depresssion I realize maybe there is something greater than us to help us through. If you have any suggestions my email is mandaingra@yahoo.com. God bless you, your family, and your sweet angel Rachel.
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