It's Been Four Months

Can it really be four months already?  It's so hard to believe.  I think I still feel a sense of shock that she really isn't here anymore.  I haven't had much time lately to write.  We have had a very full week here, with family visits! But I have been thinking of Rachel ALOT today.  Aching in the deep way that only a mother who has lost a child can ache. As I clean and organize places in our house that haven't been touched in a long time, I keep running into reminders of her sweet life.  Thank-you Father God for your precious gifts.  For your strength that carried us through the darkest nights. I have felt IMMENSE sadness today that I couldn't experience the joyful expectation of a healthy birth, but I give thanks for her life all the same.  For the sweet bond that I could know with her. And one day I will see you again Rachel!  oh, I can hardly wait... 


This is what I posted on FB awhile ago..."I miss Rachel so much today. It's the five (oops actually four) month anniversary of her death but all I can think about today is the day of her birth.  Bono said that "Freedom has a scent like the top of a newborn baby's head".  I think that's about right. What a lovely feeling it was to hold her and drink her in."