August 5, 2011

I don't feel quite ready to write about this day yet.  But one day I will.  And I will complete this post.  One thing I will share now is that these pictures were taken shortly before we carried her body to the hearse.  Just before we did this incredibly hard thing, our respite workers and a few other friends from the Spanish church, came to say good-bye to her and then they prayed out loud (Korean style - everyone at once) in Spanish.  It was so very beautiful...and powerful.  We sensed the presence of God with us, the power of God that gave us strength to do what we needed to do that day - one of the final acts of love that we could do for Rachel.  What a very hard day it was. But I know that God was with us. 

Just that same morning I was talking with another mother, whose child also died. And she was telling me about how when she looked back at their hard day, she could see God's hands in it, in the timing of it and in His provisions for her and their family.  It was so hard for her to see it on that day.  It was hard for me to see this on the day we said good-bye, on August 5th, 2011.  I was pretty doubtful that it would be anything but incredibly tragic.  But now, I think I understand better when she meant.  Oh, there is so much I want to share with you - when the time is right. I feel so sad at having to say good-bye, and yet, we know that this pain is real because we knew so much beauty too because of this little girl.  And we would not have traded a minute of time with her if it meant less pain now. 

Thank-you God for this precious little girl.  Thank-you for every minute, for every day...