Rachel had another spell at 4:45 am this morning. It lasted roughly 30 min. The good news is that the fentanyl seemed to act much faster than the morphene. Shortly after the first dose, her face relaxed and lost some of the intensity. (we gave her three doses in total) I so wish it could do even more, although I know that her breathing likely sounds far worse than it really feels for her. I am glad we were at the Flames House for this one. It was nice to have a nurse beside me helping with the syringes - it's a bit more 'fiddly' than the morphene was. This way, I could just focus on holding her. Dave came out to be with us for a several hours this morning. I'm so thankful for our neighbor who came over to watch our kids! Thanks John.
This is the first time she has had two intense spells this close together. I am going home to pick up my family this morning and we are staying one more night. The good news is that I slept a four hour stretch yesterday!! And then surprisingly, I was able to sleep another hour and a half this morning. I feel a heavy sadness again this morning but I am also feeling so much better mentally - more able to function than I did a few days ago.
Rachel is giving out smiles this morning. The area around her eyes is quite red - common for her after spells. But otherwise, she seems fine. I had a good snuggle with her this morning.
Last night as I brought her out to the nurses, she was asleep in my arms with her little fists up by her face and she looked so much she did in her 3D ultrasound pictures....
wow. two so close together. no wonder you have a hard time relaxing.
ReplyDeleteI'll keep praying for you to sleep that sweet sleep. You're normal - nobody can cope when they're tired and that supermom everyone talks about - well, she's a cartoon character and not real :-)
ReplyDeleteSorry, not trying to be sarcastic but just know you are human.
I have a hard time sleeping if I know there's a chance something or someone is going to wake me up again. I can only imagine how hard it would be to sleep if you're listening for your daughter to make sure she's breathing and her heart beating. Bless you Kendra and Dave - God chose you to have His precious Rachel here on earth.
Enjoy her - however much time you have left with her - just enjoy her and love on her.
dave and kendra, may jesus hold you two in His arms through rachel's spells the way you hold and comfort her. and, once again, i feel thankful that ethan and abigail did not have to be part of witnessing this suffering. thank-you Lord for helping to shield their little hearts from some of this pain.
ReplyDeleteMay the Lord give you the rest you need to continue to carry on with all your responsibilities. My heart is so saddened to hear what your family is going through daily with the unknown. I pray that when the Lord receives this little angel, may she go in peace and the heavenly Father truly knows how much love she was given while in the arms of her family. May peace be with you, Kendra,Dave,Ethan and Abigail. Lord have mercy on this family.
ReplyDeleteIn prayer for you,
May God give you strength for each spell and hold you tightly in His arms. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteOh Lord,give this family strength.Help them through these very hard days they are facing.Lift them up & hold them in your loving arms.Let them be reminded of the poem "Footprints"I love you all.
ReplyDeleteJanet M
At church yesterday we prayed for you and all your familymay the loving arms of God be your strength and comfort today.Roselle
ReplyDeleteMay God continue to give you guys strength, joy, and may He give you peace. If you have a chance and feel led to, check out Psalm 18 sometime. Thank you for the picture and the note!!:)
ReplyDeletePraying..., Karalee
Morning Kendra,
ReplyDeleteEarly this morning I was unable to sleep, and saw that you were having insomnia issues this week. So I started reading your blog from the day Rachel was born to today, and all the while praying for you while doing it.
I have no idea what it is like to be in your position or if you have time to do this. It is just that I want to help in some way, yet don't know how. Is there anyway you could post on your blog a list of things you haven't been able to get to or want done? Need a babysitter or something?
Please let me know.
Also, I just wanted to let you know that through the hard times that I have been through in my personal life God has shown me that fear is not of Him. It is the enemy trying to steal away what is precious to us.
Your faith, amazing love and strength is awe inspiring.
You all will continue to be in my prayers. Thank you for sharing Rachel and your journey with all of us.
Wow... I missed a few days of your blog, and my heart breaks at what you've experienced this past weekend. While I am going through my day today, I will be lifting you up... that God would give you peace, rest, and comfort throughout your night. Love, Lorissa
ReplyDeleteI pray that Jesus will send you aan extra blessing to you today.May you feel His peace with you.I hope you are getting the rest you need.
ReplyDeleteMuch Love
Janet M
Just a piece that was in one of my devotions."When you struggle He listens.When you yearn.He responds.When you question He hears.He has been there.He understands.
ReplyDeleteIn Prayer