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Friday, January 28, 2011

I miss her smiles...

We miss Rachel's smiles...it's been too long since we have seen one...we miss our little happy girl... 

Another tough day today...constant 5 ml feedings...on average every 15 minutes - 1/2 hr today....Rachel is out of sorts and not moving much either, her legs and arms are limper than usual (maybe a result of the spell a few days ago?)..i almost thought i was going crazy again today...with frustration, weariness...

i know there are many people reading this who will get after me....bc I keep promising to call when I need help but i'm so bad at asking for help when I am in the midst of this...you can pray for me about that;)  I think I am scared to show you how out of control I really feel sometimes...

God, I have nothing left.  please help.
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9 comments:

  1. JanetJanuary 28, 2011 at 10:28 PM

    Kendra,
    Your friends are there waiting for you to call them.It's ok to feel the way you're feeling & I don't think you are out of control.This is a part of you that is in pain. Please Lord give Kendra strength & help her in that area.That's what friends are for.:)
    Always in prayer
    much love
    Janet M

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  2. MarthaJanuary 29, 2011 at 6:36 AM

    Praying for strength for you individually Kendra and for your family as a whole. And it's ok to be "out of control". God knows your pain better than anyone. He too, gave up His child (willingly). I know I could never have done that. Hugs!

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  3. Amanda DahmesJanuary 29, 2011 at 7:24 AM

    I read your journal everyday. KEEP WRIGHTING!! Many prayers to your family. <3

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  4. JobinaJanuary 29, 2011 at 7:44 AM

    lifting you up in prayer today...

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  5. AnonymousJanuary 29, 2011 at 8:29 AM

    Praying for you. My heart is breaking for you and your family. May God give you peace - you're overwhelmed and feeling too much guilt.

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  6. UnknownJanuary 29, 2011 at 11:39 AM

    This reminds me of an older posting you had put up, from another blogger who has been writting about the loss of her husband. I want to remind you Kendra that we should be calling you, don't worry about contacting us. We know your time is so very very valuable.
    We need to remember to contact you!
    You are in our thoughts daily!
    Much love,
    J&E

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  7. Valerie RuthJanuary 29, 2011 at 5:05 PM

    loving you

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  8. fionaJanuary 29, 2011 at 7:14 PM

    dear Lord, please show your great and undying love for dave and kendra by sending a smile or two to them through the precious second daughter you have given them . . . give their hearts strength and enable them to trust in You . . . though some trust in the medical system and some in friends and family, may you help them to set their hearts and minds firmly on You and your great mercy and love. do something even more wonderful than they ask or imagine within their weary hearts, minds and bones. in the powerful name of Jesus I pray.

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  9. AnonymousJanuary 30, 2011 at 8:06 AM

    Thank you God, that you are with Dave and Kendra, surrounding them with your arms of everlasting love at this time. Give them peace and strength in this very exhausting and overwhelming situation one moment at a time.
    Martha

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