This morning, I was helping the two older kids with breakfast downstairs at the Flames House when a nurse brought Rachel to me in the beginning stages of a heart spell. We gave her two doses of morphine. This time it really seemed as if she was fighting the spell. Her eyes would roll all the way up and she would go still, and then suddenly her body jerked and her eyes straightened to look at us again. It wasn't as bad as some others have been but still, it was very hard to watch (and hear) her struggling to breathe again. So hard.
Dave reminded me that it has been 6 weeks (to the day) since her last spell. We had an inkling yesterday that something was coming because she slept almost the whole day - and when I asked the nurses in the morning if she had slept at night and heard 'yes, she slept so well!!' - I had that feeling too that something wasn't right.
We moved home after lunch as planned. Rachel is doing ok - pretty lethargic, and she is having some trouble feeding even though she seems hungry - but her color is good. The last six weeks have been a wonderful, happy stretch of time for her. We are so thankful for it. And now the reality is setting in again.. Thank-you so much for your prayers.
I have been a "silent" reader for a long while and just want you to know there is so much love and so many prayers being sent your way...even by so many of us you don't even know. YOur story has touched my heart, helps me to be a better mom and not take things for granted...thank you, and know you will be in my thoughts and prayers as always. Hugs to you and your beautiful family.
ReplyDeleteKendra and Dave,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear that. How hard. From one mom to another, I don't have any words for you, to watch your baby go through that, no parent should ever have to do that.
I love to see that you cherish her, that you love her deeply and you can see how loved she feels and her joy, in the video's you have sent us, in her pictures where she is smiling so brightly. Because of you, she has known such great love. Please take comfort in knowing that. All her love needs are being met.
I am proud of you, that you choose to get up every day and choose to love deeply even though you know the outcome. You are loving the way God loves us, unabandonly.
We will pray for you guys tonight.
love laura
Rachel, I'm praying for you and your family. You're such a fighter - I am amazed at your strength.
ReplyDeleteOh,I am so sorry Rachel went through another spell.
ReplyDeleteYou are definitly a very strong loving family.God sure chose the right parents for Rachel.She is a beautiful baby. I love you all,& will continue to pray for the peace & comfort from Jesus.
Love Janet M
Oh, Kendra, I'm so sorry Rachel (and you) have to go through this - it just never gets easier, does it? I will be praying for you all today - may you feel God's strength carrying you as you go about your day (and night).
ReplyDeleteLove you guys,
Carol
you don't know me either, but i've been praying for you daily (sometimes more than once a day,) since oct. 20th - that's the morning someone mentioned your family during the prayer time at our moms group. mostly, i pray that God will give you exactly what you need for the day. and, i thank Him for your faithfulness in this journey - you are challenging and encouraging far more people than you'll ever know. at the beginning of this journey you heard God telling you that things needed to happen as they were for His glory - be assured that the printed and sung words on your blog alone lift His name on high. thank you for your faithfulness -
ReplyDeleteGod is changing people (me) through you.
I'm not a secret follower, but I am almost always touched by these blogs Kendra. You show your heart and allow yourself to be vulnerable. I truly appreciate that. God is using you and this story to break me. Believe me I need it and want it so much. Your story has also inspired me to write, so write I have. I am actually going to be trying to come to Calgary this Spring like May or June. I'll keep you posted.
ReplyDeleteWe are continuing to pray for you all. Kendra, you amaze me...you are an incredible mother, and the result is an incredible family. Rest in our fathers love and He will give you the strength you need to handle each situation.
ReplyDeleteOh, how we love this little girl, that we have never met. You are all in our thoughts and prayers often.